Simple Days

The past two weeks have included me getting a hardcore flu (the worst with a newborn), legit, chilly fall weather, lots of finger painting projects for Kael at school, plus his first train ride with friends and lots of new smiles from Cedar. I've started writing music again (which makes me feel extra alive).  I'm about to start a new book study with some girls at church and C has consistently been sleeping through the night (making a very sane and happy momma). I really have been looking into my heart lately, holding onto simple love and acknowledging the areas in my soul that have grown and the parts that still need hope and grace. There's beauty in the good and grace in and for everything else.  

Gimme those cheeks.

foot snuggles

Curiosity

This right here is a like having a date with myself. Every month this is responsible for an extra smile on my face.

We just started the chapter of saying goodbye to paci. (prayers are appreciated.) ;)

Every morning, Kael asks to watch his tiger show from Animal Planet. Raaaaawr.

One nook of the boys' room.

Pretty much Sam's candy for our sick days.

If you want to be cool in Charlotte, pumpkin spice everything from Trader Joes. 

My favorite treat of the season, local honey crisp apples. 

At least 2-3 bananas a day.

Cows and horses have been a must all week. In the car, Kael's collection of "moo-moos" must come with us of course.

This box holds all of Kael's flash cards. He has a  daily ritual of going through all of them. 

First item I ever bought for my house, for once we got married. A trumpet from the 1940's in Israel. Found it at a little antique shop in Jerusalem. 

My flirt.

Brothers

One of the things that I'm looking forward to most in the coming months and years is, watching my boys grow as brothers. There is something so special and intriguing about the bond that brothers have. And of course,  the wrestling, pretend adventures, the messes, stories and more messes. haha. Last week, we had our first episode of brotherly "wrestling," oh lord. After lounging for a bit on the bed with Cedar, I grabbed our camera. I was actually able to get them, somewhat in the same picture which is kinda a rare thing. Well, my Forest decided to body slam all of our pillows. He had an audience and his own personal paparazzi so, why should he just sit there? Then, he looked back at me with a very knowing, boyish grin and proceeded to step on his brother and then tried to pounce on him. I grabbed him up before he had the chance to do the later. Then, I just laughed as I picked up a very startled and mad Cedar. haha. You boys. 

Dear Kael

Hey Kael, it's Momma...

Gosh, the last couple of weeks have been crazy, huh? What are you thinking? Have you figured out that this new little person is ours? I've been trying to give you your space with Cedar, not trying to force him on you too strongly. I figure you'll come around...and you are.  I'll ask you where your brother is and your eyes light up, as you point to him.  You know he's something special, though you don't have too much interest in him. You've got important things to do like, body slam onto the couch, figure out puzzles, build big towers and pretend that you are a tiger or an elephant (the later is your current fav).  It makes me smile, knowing that you guys will one day be up past your bed time while trying to figure out a way to convince us to let you stay up and wrestle for just 5 minutes more. It's going to be crazy wonderful. Until then, you are perfectly happy to wrestle and scream with your daddy or your friends, Oliver and Dash. 

Just two days ago, and for the first time, you consented to "holding" your little brother after bringing me his space man jammies.  You apparently wanted me to put them on him and you stood there until I did. (I thought the outfit I had on him was cute enough, but obviously not to your tastes that day.) haha. 

I have so much fun celebrating your mini conquerings and creations. You, proudly bringing home your paintings and art projects from preschool, are probably some of my absolute favorite things ever. Hands down, the best! You walk by "your" art wall, in the hallway (where of course I display your masterpieces) and point to your favorite painting that you made with apple stamps. I delight in how you love to create. You are rather partial to markers, *ehem* more like sharpies. I have no clue why. ;) (It's from me, I've been obsessed with sharpies for years and you are like your momma.) This Friday, when I picked you up from school, you gave your teaches and friends hugs bye-bye, like really sweet, heart felt hugs. Ah! Being your mom is so great. 

Over the past week, I've been asking you, over and over, how you got so big? When did this happen? I hold your face in my hands and look at you, looking at me with happiness in your eyes...you are such a big boy. A few days ago, you passed out on my chest. You were out cold! It was pure heaven. I didn't move. I just stared at your sweet face, laying on me and kissed your yummy cheeks. They still jiggle when you walk...It's your daddy's favorite thing.

I just wanted to take this lull in the day, while you and your brother are napping, to write you a little note. We've had a really fun time together this week and I wanted to tell you so. 

Oh, one last thing. You say bye-bye with a Texan accent. Yes and thank you!? Um, coolest kid ever?! haha. You're my first little love, buddy. 

I love you. 

-Momma

Simple Days

Since Cedar was born, I've made it more of a priority to have the camera out to catch sweet moments and simple happenings around my house. Every few days, I'll sit down and look through the pictures and just smile. Little things, like Kael's favorite toy of the day laying on the ground, or a ridiculous mess that I'm sure I'll laugh at after the fact or a little old man expression on Cedar's face.  These are my simple days. :)

Lately, I have successfully been getting rid of SO much STUFF. "Stuff" has been the plague of my existence. As much as I like to pretend I am, I'm NOT one of those naturally organized people. I always end up with way more odds and ends than I have room for.  And good lord, how many musty, vintage books can a girl have?! Well, just come over to my bungalow and see. Do I need 10 old mason jars? No. How about 2 or 3?  I can happily say though, that I have de-cluttered my life more in the past couple of months than I ever have before, by keeping only what I truly love and consistently use. I've gotten rid of clothes, furniture and just excess junk (cool junk, buuuuut junk none the less.)

These last few weeks I've been trying to focus on strengthening my inner Amanda, or Sheila, or Sarah... ( These are friends of mine that do have this gift like, whoa!) I've been trying to organize in such a way that accommodates my un-organized tendencies. Does that make sense? I'm figuring out  what works for me ,on the fly and what doesn't. I've tried different methods of organizing my closet for example. You know, those fabric hanging shelf cubbies that velcro to the closet rod? I always start off with everything folded and sorted. Within a month it's all stuffed in the wrong slot. Those awesome for some and nifty inventions, don't work with my weakness to pile and stuff. I finally figured out that I have too many clothes... So hopefully,  me weeding through the threads, will give me a boost in the orderly arranged apparel department. The lists in my mind (and the ones scribbled down on random pieces of paper) are starting to have lots of finished checks and scratched off projects! Kinda making me happy and motivated to continue.

Here are some simple moments from my days this past week. 

there's a little bear napping in there....
nature's sway organic baby hammock (future posts on this to come.)

one project that's been hanging over my head that I finally got started on, almost done.

5 week old wonder

the new addition to our home. my childhood kitty, hannah. she's pretty darn happy to be with me again. kael loves her. 

Someone wanted me to take his picture after I had taken a ton of Cedar yesterday. This boy seriously makes my heart feel a kind of wonderful that is unearthly.

Charlie and Nell: New Dolls

There are several new dolls up in my shop!

Click HERE or go to www.charlieandnell.com

More Crying

"There's gonna be more crying..." A friend of mine that just had her second baby, weeks before me, forewarned me when I asked how her "Mom of 2-ness" was going so far. I jotted the note down somewhere in the back of my already full "momma brain." But, boy did it come back around to the "front row seat" of my memory, a week or two after Cedar joined us at home.

Kael only cried for as long as it took me to soothe him. Which, most of the time was instantly. Cedar, bless his loving heart, has probably cried more in his 4 weeks of life than Kael did in his first 6 months. Not because I'm neglecting him or letting him cry it out...it just happens as I take care of two. Yeah, I might be exaggerating a little but, it feels that way sometimes.

I don't like letting my babies cry at all. They are babies and that's how they communicate that they need something. If I can soothe them, gosh darn it, I'm going to! But, there are so many pockets of time during my day when one kid needs something and I can't calm the other one right at the moment. Yep, my house or my car is full of cries and whines, several times a day. haha. Did I mention mister little bear has a love/hate (more on the hate side) with his carseat?  Oh yes. Kael always was silent and content in his... Cedar? Not so much. When I go to pick up Kael from preschool, or drive anywhere actually, it's pretty much a car full of crying, the whole way there and back. I can't pull over every 5 minutes to soothe him. When the reality is, even if I did pull over, the only thing that will make my sweet little precious calm down is to be in my arms and I can't do that when I'm driving. I have recently found that if I feed him good and long, right before we leave, it kinda drugs him to sleep. haha. Let's give a big gold star for boobies! Just recently he's started to come around to the idea of car rides, but it sure is a slow growing affection.

Slowly but surely, I'm finding my rhythm as a momma of 2 little boys, which is completely different than the flow Kael and I had together. Really, Kael is having to adjust just as much as I am now. Just like Cedar, he has to eat, have attention, have diaper changes and countless other things that he requires throughout the day.  As much as I would love it, his needs don't always come up at the most opportune times.  Sometimes, I just laugh at the ridiculousness of the moment, or...I join in with whichever one is crying...or it might be a cry fest of all 3 of us.

The truth is, when I'm 60 years old and my kids are grown and off doing exciting stuff, I'm going to long for even just one day that I have right now with them, cries and all. That reality pushes me back to sanity in tired moments. ;)

Aaaaaand, as I wrap up this jumbled post, Cedar is singing the song of his people, by crying quite loudly, as he lets me know that he desires my boob... again! Kael's volume is trying to match that of his brother, also letting me know that he wants more cereal and his sagging diaper is emitting an odor that the army could bottle up and use for torture. haha.

Here's to all the moms of multiples in the world!

Jess

PS -
I would love to hear tips and input from other moms out there. What have you found works for you, since you've had two or more in different situations throughout the day? (or night.) I find that gleaning tid bits of success from my friends has helped me so much and I know there are lots of experienced mommas out there.  

Dear Cedar

Cedar,

Your bright little soul has brought so much light into my heart. When I kiss your sweet cheeks and look into your blue eyes, I can feel so much goodness. Watching you sleep is kinda like a drug to me...you're simply addicting. I love you more than I thought possible. But, knowing my heart the way I do, and even the way I don't quite yet...I know there's so much more love to happen between you and me and that makes me so excited. I'm so thankful for you sweet boy. People say all the time that children are a gift, but you really and truly are a gift to me more than I've ever understood the word to mean. I'm so glad you came exactly when you did, my little miracle. You are the meaning of "new" to me.

There is a unique excitement that I have when we spend time together and I think about all the wonders you haven't experienced yet. There are trees waiting for you to climb them, snowmen for you to build and ice cream for you to taste. There are knees to be scraped from fun adventures and silly things for you and your brother to laugh at. Your eyes will sparkle the first time you realize you can walk all by yourself. The feeling you get in your heart when you've comforted someone you love will be thrilling. I think that will be one of your gifts in life, because that's who you have been to be from the moment I first felt you dance in my tummy. So much love is waiting for you Cedar, so much love. And my one and only goal and dream in life is for you and your brother to know it as yours. My prayer countless times a day is Lord, more than anything, let my boys know they are loved.

Right now you are next to me, dreaming asleep...and your brother is antsy, trying to figure out what he wants from the moment. Your daddy is creating something lovely and now, I realize I haven't even begun to understand what good means because, I feel it more today than I have in my entire life.  Sweet boy, thank you for being a kiss of healing to me. I can't wait to watch you discover and enjoy this journey.

With all my soul and truest heart, I love you Cedar. Happy 1 month.

-Momma

PS.
This song below is the song I sang the entire time I was pregnant with you Cedar. I'd sing it any time my heart felt happy or broken.  It still makes me bawl like a baby and smile, as I look at you here with me. You are my springtime and the sweet promise of Jesus making all things new.

Well I feel a warm wind blowin'

Melting all the sadness off of my soul

and I smell the sweet cherry blossoms

pouring all their gladness, into my soul

In winter I believe you 

In springtime I see you

It's so good to be with you
my hope has come

Lord you make all things new

Your love is my breakthrough

Now I sing Hallelujah

My hope has come

Well I've walked through the valley of the shadow

And I have been tested like silver and gold

Lord your faith has taught me to cherish

that this light affliction is not my home

I'm not gonna give in to this mortal frustration 

And I'm not gonna give death any standing ovation

I will lift my soul God, with no hesitation

because between you and me there's no separation 

Simple Days

Has it already been a month since Cedar was born and our journey as a family of 4 began? It doesn't quite seem real yet.  We've been taking this time to get to know our new, wee lad and gather up whatever rest that we can. I am at my worst when I don't get sleep. And the past few nights have FINALLY given me and my little boy the sleep we both were needing. I haven't had one full nights sleep since C was born. But, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel of z's. ;) Friends have been spoiling us with tasty meals, flowers and treats, this past month, which has been the biggest blessing. I thought it was a blessing when we had gifted meals with Kael, but having two munchkins has proved it a little more difficult to find my rhythm in the kitchen again. So, it has been a lifesaver now more than ever. ;)  I will say, yesterday I masterfully grocery shopped with both boys without incident and felt pretty proud of myself. 

Breastfeeding is going GREAT now and has become a new found love of mine. (I never thought I would be able to actually do it, let alone enjoy it.) It was tricky for the first 3 weeks but now it is just the best thing. (minus of course the fact that I have milk spots on most of my shirts now and am realizing I need a whole new slew of threads to support my boob feeding effort. haha!) Cedar is entering that amazing and magical stage where smiles are frequent and tiny coos and babbles are starting to be what I look forward to every morning. Definitely makes 3 am a more pleasant time when I'm greeted with flirty smirks. I'm still writing my birth story, it's coming soon, I promise. There's a small sliver of time a day that sometimes allows me to sit down with full attention to the thoughts of my heart and I'm trying to take advantage of it whenever I can to write. 

Here are a handful of images from the past several days to give you just a tiny peek into our daily world. 

Beautiful fall flowers from our friends at church. 

A good day of both boys napping meant my poor kitchen got some attention. 

Mister Kael LOOOOOVES preschool

My first love and mini heart throb...in all the unorganized chaos, he still naps like a champ.

Is it weird that I've been looking forward to this moment since I was a little girl---putting my kid's preschool artwork up on my walls... It's seriously one of my favorite things EVER!!! Kael proudly points to his masterpieces each time he walks through the hallway.

Clothes pins have a certain level of fascination for Kael, so...we created a little game. My friend Kristina would be proud of me. ;) 

The little pumpkin who makes my heart beat fast.