Morning smiles

My two week old sweet heart loves the morning sunshine and LOVES his lambie!

A Year Ago Today

September 12, 2009 -

The day I told the world that I'm spending the rest of my life with my ultimate love, best friend, hero, deepest confidant and fellow dreamer...

Sam and I got married in the mountains of North Carolina, in the woods, surrounded by a ton our of friends and family. It was awesome. We totally gutted a horse barn and transformed it into a story book wedding party! We even had a film crew from Women's Entertainment Channel there filming it! Ha! (In the hunt for my wedding dress we were approached by them and asked to be featured on their new TV show called "Girl Meets Gown." A reality show about girls and their hunt for "the" dress. After hearing about what we were planning and hearing our story, they decided to fly out and film the whole shebang.) It was fun and made everything all the more crazy cool.

My dad married us and here is announcing the soon coming kiss. It was our second kiss. Samuel first kissed me in Jerusalem the day after we got engaged. (That is another story in and of itself. He flew over there secretly and proposed to me on the beach... I'll tell that story later. ) ;)

We really didn't want a formal wedding...it's just not us. We didn't want a traditional ceremony either. We wanted to seem like everyone just showed up to enjoy this awesome moment in the woods. We had a huge bonfire after the reception where we had a drum circle playing as we danced and sang well into the night!

Here are a few highlights from our wedding including a vid that kinda sums it all up.

Being married to Samuel has been the biggest blast of a joy! More than I could have ever dreamed of. Our love for each other is truly defined by an unlimited amount of wonder we have in each other and selfless adoration. It's a dream. Now, we have a little walking (or soon to be crawling, I should say) story book of our love to cherish on top of all that goodness! Life is wonderful.

My man woke me up as I lay passed out in bed with our little boy conked on my chest. He brought me a huge omelet, sliced fruit, roses and dark chocolate. (my fav.) He is my dream and I'm so in love with him.

Here is a link to a wedding blog that posted our wedding with a ton of pics... CLICK HERE

Our photography was done by

Shelley Paulson

and

Tirzah Photography

Lately...

A couple of days ago we went to my parent's house to hang out and chill.

Lately, I've been learning mommy things. All the love and gushy gooey wonderful feelings that preceded, accompanied and are following the birth of my boho baby boy didn't teach me about the joys of projectile milk vomit, or all the textures of newborn poop. They didn't quite prepare me for the hormone swings that blow almost everything out of proportion to the point where I would burst into tears when I spilled my recently 1 oz. of pumped boob milk, or the massive unrealistic expectations I had put on myself.

This new chapter in our journey has been fabulous, hard, wonderful, exhausting, triumphantly satisfying and defeatingly overwhelming at times.

I would say I'm sorry for not writing in so long, but, I've been falling in love with my son, recovering from an unexpectedly hard labor and learning a brand new way of living with my man and our little dude.

I'm working on a series of small blog posts called "Little Pushes" that are stories from our labor and birth experience. Funny stories, crazy stories and out right RIDICULOUS stories to make you smile and journal in a fun way the thoughts on my baby journey.

Today was my first day with Sam back to work. It was pretty fun! Káel and I had our morning routine of listening and dancing to Regina Spektor's "80's Anthem" song and even went to go have lunch with Sam.

We are crazy about our boy. Sam, as of this moment is talking to Káel about one day having armpit hair... *endearingly rolling my eyes* ...boys... my boys.

He's pretty much addicting.

Birth Story: Part 2

my midwives were amazing

These are just a few pic from the last half of my labor. I highly recommend having a birth photographer. My pictures have so redeemed so many moments for me that I would have forgotten about otherwise. 

CLICK HERE to see the rest of my labor/birth pics posted on Tirzah Photography's photo blog. 

As you are looking through the blog post be sure and watch the video of Samuel singing the lulaby he wrote for Kael. 

Boho Baby Boy Has Arrived!

Forest Káel Gatlyn

8-29-2010 3:33AM

8lb. 9oz.

Tirzah Photography

Birth Story: Part 1 Boho Baby: Forest Káel Gatlyn

Yes, I primped my little self up twice in the middle of active labor...I'm not ashamed. ;) 

my man was the gentlest strength to my heart in the middle of the hardest thing I've ever done.

my mom helping through transition

2.5 weeks overdue. Birth. 43 hours labor, 10 hours of which I was stuck at 9cm in transition having to fight against my own body from pushing...

Until you experience it-no one can convey to you the emotions, the unexpected feelings of joy that come at the end and all the mix of pain, tiredness and utter exhaustion that fill in the middle. Every gal's story is different and uniquely crafted with love, pain and hope but, it's all a miracle beyond words.

Dang, having a baby wasn't a piece of cake and not what I was expecting as far as how it all played out. But the result of my labor was the most amazing, incredible and every wonderful word you can think of to describe every bit of wonderfulness as Samuel caught our little boy and handed him to me. Sheer bliss and delight. (the end that is, not the in between, haha)

I haven't blogged in some days due to recovery and hanging with m'baby boy, Forest Kael. (Pronounced just like kale.) I have been blown away to smiles by all the comments and encouraging notes from so many of you! Thank you so much! After it all went down I was pretty pooped and have been collecting my thoughts on how I want to tell our story. There are SO many hysterically funny, heart breaking, hilarious yet heart wrenching and heroic moments that I will share over the next week. :)

My sister in law, Rebekah Fancher of Tirzah Photography came over to document my labor/birth starting when my active labor began. The photos from my birth have redeemed so many moments for me.  I'm going to start you off with the blog she just posted. 

Click HERE to see the rest of the pics from the first half of my labor. 

PART 2 IS HERE.

Dang, THIS is a Contraction

Hey all! Remember me telling you a few weeks back all those "contractions" I was having? Geesh, now I KNOW what a contraction is. Starting last night from 11pm- 4am ish I tossed and turned from discomfort and light contractions. Then this morning...BAM BABY! I found myself around 9am pacing mindlessly as my body felt like it was cranking up the biggest peak on the biggest roller coaster ever. Some interesting sounds and sighs were coming out of my mouth. Can you say, OUUUUCH. Yeah.

But, it was and is FREAKING AWESOME! That deep abiding fear that was plaguing me about my body not being able to go into labor on its own was wiped away. Sure, it was and is uncomfortable as heck...BUT, my body is doing it's thing-my baby is doing his thing. So, it's like a bitter/sweet deal of awesomeness!

Sam and I spent the afternoon chillin', cuddling, walking and watching Up (which I sobbed like a baby through. ha! )

It all makes me smile at the thoughts of all those "contractions" I was freaking out about having weeks back which I now know were just intense Braxton hicks. As a first time momma I had nothing to compare or measure these experiences by. Now, I'm starting to. The moment that first real contraction hit me this morning-WHEW...I knew it, not a question in my brain. There is a definable peak that slowly climbs to almost an insane ouch and then there is that moment of decent which is heaven. :)

I'm getting ready to watch the old "Parent Trap" with Beka waiting for my man to get back from video directing. I'm content, excited and trying relax and go with the contractions I'm having.

I keep imagining my baby boy's little face against my cheek and the feeling of his skin under my lips-looking into his precious eyes...ah! It's my encouraging hope. So dear friends and fellow mommies...we shall see what happens with this Boho Belly of mine in the coming hours.

Much love!

41 Week Woodland Mama

"Auntie Rivka" aka my sister in love, Rebekah Fancher of Tirzah Photography took me out side in her back yard to document my ever present, 41 week belly. I honestly didn't feel like it. I had asked her to take a couple shots to remember this stage of my pregnancy. But by the end of the day I totally did NOT feel like doing anything. Being the amazing love that she is, she kicked my butt out of the house and we ventured through the woods! :) We had so much fun.

Click HERE to see her blog on the shoot. :)

I'm all about layering, and finding comfy finds in non maternity places. I got this oh so cozy sleep/out and about top at American Eagle for $3 on the sales rack when I was picking up Sam some jeans. I got it in Medium for a tight fit (above) and large for a loose, off the shoulder look.

I had my weekly appointment with my midwife, Damaris today. Word is, I've progressed in my effacement and dilated-ness! She thinks that I could pop tonight, or later this week. I'm super excited! Samuel was so antsy last night as he looked around the room, then back and my belly. "I want him to come out!" He teasingly proclaimed over dramatically throughout our house. ;) (He makes me laugh so hard, all the time.)

I had THE WORST case of not being able to sleep last night. Not because of discomfort, just the plain fact I couldn't sleep. I found Tetris on my iPhone, bought it and played it for an hour in hopes of falling asleep. Nope. Eventually, with closed eyes I drifted off to sleep around 5 am going through all the baby names we've gathered and trying to picture my babe's little face.

Update: Little Sparrow Song Mathis

For those of you who have been following my tweets you have been hearing the progress of little baby Sparrow Song Mathis. She is the 1 week old TODAY baby of my dear friends Jessie and Mark Mathis. She is an amazing little miracle and just had heart surgery a few days ago for her congenital heart defect condition. To catch up and read her amazing story click HERE on her blog.

She is 1 week old today and is doing very well! She is opening her eyes, is very alert, got to taste her first taste of breast milk and LOVED it her momma tells me! Keep little Sparrow Song in your prayers over the next few days as the doctors monitor how her body adjusts to all the changes from the surgery. I'll be posting updates on my twitter if you want to know how she is doing.

Also, her daddy, Mark, (who is an amazing song writer/musician) is giving away all his music for free in celebration of their little bird! Check it out HERE. and send them some love. :)

Long Time No See..

40 week jess

(last week)

Hey guys, sorry I've been MIA lately. The past week has been good. Mucho uncomfortable, but still good. Today reminds me that tomorrow is my weekly midwife appointment. THAT means it's been another week. Another week that has teased and taunted me.

My family/friends and I were laughing all together the other day- It feels like we've already had the baby. We already experienced that "Oh my gosh! He's coming! He's coming tonight!" feeling a couple of weeks ago. We all are standing around thinking, "but, there's no baby." It's so funny. People will ask me, "So, you having any contractions?" I reply, "Naa, not really." Even if I am, I'm not saying anything til it reaches the point where I can't talk! No more of this start, stop stuff. No-thank-you. ;)

Sam and I have been enjoying our time together. We've gone on a couple of little adventures, had movie nights and laughed so much it's crazy. ;)

Just a couple of days ago we bought our little dude some books that were our favs as little kids. Having those tangible outlets of things that physically connect us with him are so important to me. It feels like the last stretch of a marathon...all the little things I look forward to are like my coach, cheering me on. Being the portable, baby spa for little guy in the last weeks of this stretch can get overwhelming and seem never ending. Will I be pregnant forever? Every once in a while the fear of "What if I can't go into labor naturally?! What if I never go into real labor?!" On and on... Fear is a funny thing, if you don't nip it in the bud it can spread like craziness.

I wake up in the middle of the night and think, good Lord, am I STILL pregnant? I'll turn my head, longing to hear little, short sleepy breaths and see my little dreamer next to me-but then I realize...not yet Jess. Yes, yes, yes I know it all sounds melodramatic! Haha! I feel like super woman, able to take on anything, endure any final stretch. Then at others, I feel like a weak, pitiful little girl whimpering about everything.

I've been reading "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears and I really like it. I'm super picky and am finding I don't feel like I have to use as thick of a Jess filter when I read through his stuff. It's making me excited!

This last stretch of pregohood-ness has stepped over some of my style boundaries a little. I've been able to wear practically all my pre-belly dresses my entire pregnancy, but now it's only a few. My belly has reached a point of war with some of the seam lines of my dresses. Ha! No worries, I've still got an abundance of options. That's the joy of layering and mix/matching! Sam, being the hilarious guy he is, teased- "Yeah, Jess' belly enters a room 4ft. before she does now!" Some of my clothing can attest to that statement.

I'm working on a series of blog posts right now on unconventional maternity fashion. It's pretty sweet. So, be patient with me, I promise...it's coming. :)

Toodle-loo dear ones!

My dear little man,

Obviously you know what you're doing in there. If you need more time, momma understands, she just is antsy to look at your sweet face. Your daddy and I are so excited love.

momma