As I'm writing this update, the sky just stopped the down pour that was dancing through the sunshine. (We took a little walk in the big, warm rain drops and kissed and hugged.) Sam is finishing up a song for our little guy and it's making me tear up and realize that any day now is going to be the day where I'll get to hold our little adventurer for real. A little bundle of mystery right in our arms.
I'm working on a post on the cloth diapers I got on Friday but haven't been able to finish it as fast as I thought. Hopefully by tomorrow mid morning I'll have it all polished and done.
I told Sam this morning in bed that pregnancy is starting (or way long past) loosing its shine and radiant sparkle to me. I'm ready to have my baby.
I met with my doula yesterday and she really helped me realize that the past week or so I've been running of of adrenaline instead of endorphins. (Will power instead of those warm and fuzzies that help you in labor.) I haven't totally been pacing myself and have kept going well after my nesting energy dwindled away. I don't know about any other soon to be moms or already moms out there but one of my biggest weaknesses in my personal life is resting and slowing my pace to a speed where I'm not thinking of making sure everybody is doing OK-in turn neglecting my own personal sanity/wearing myself out. Ha!
If I'm tired I have to tell myself it's OK to lay down and take a nap or just curl up with a blanket and watch an episode of some frivolous show to chill.
Birth she told me is 90% mental an emotional. You can kinda get out of the whole birthing zone by worrying about everything being in order, or not perfect. Is so and so OK? How am I going to handle 'this' situation etc.... I kinda feel like a week or so ago I was having steady contractions then all of a sudden I went into worry/fix it mode. Which is partially a mommy instinct, but it seem to stop all the baby progress. Who knows. All I DO know is reminding myself and giving myself permission to "shut things out" mentally from the worry spot in my brain and relax-I started having those contractions again. :)
My job is to create an environment within myself where my baby feels ready to come out. He'll come out when he feels ready-I can help him by resting and being jacked up on all those warm and fuzzies called endorphins. The feel good, love hormones that are God's freaking amazing gift to women with the bump and in labor.
So, Jess...if you need to have a day where you do nothing but lay on the couch and read or sleep or watch 10 episodes of Little House on the Prairie-it's OK. It's fantastic actually. Relax and have your baby already. ;)
Holding Dash, my friend Lauren's 5 week baby boy. So soon...
Ok little man of mine,
Momma is ready to hold you and love you like crazy. Whenever you feel like coming, you and me-we'll work together and get you out of that warm little spa you are in. It's probably getting a little tight in there so listen to momma and daddy singing to you and know that we love you so much and really wanting to hold you. I can't wait to see you babes.