"Behold world...our little human" ha!
It's been a whole month since our little woodland dreamer said hello to the world, live and in living color. It's really hard to believe. My world has turned totally upside down. I have learned so much about myself as a person, a wife, friend, daughter, a sister and now as a mommy. A mommy... wow. I'm a mom. I held Káel this morning and looked at myself and him through the mirror on the wall thinking, "This is my SON! Sam and I are PARENTS!"
Can you ever truly be prepared for pregnancy, birth and parenthood, with all it entails? Naw, I don't really think so. Or, if you do think so, you soon learn in the midst of it that you can't. Not fully anyways. The heights of preparation may be limited, but, as I sit here thinking about all of this, my sweet husband is rubbing my feet and my little boy lays fast asleep, dreaming on my chest. This, our new chapter in life is wonderful and the lack of being fully prepared makes for a grand adventure. What good story of adventure is absent of tears, freaking out and sleep deprivation? Come on.
Hormones out of control, bleeding boobs, (oh dear lord, the boobs...) dealing with all the unmet expectations I had placed on myself, and feeling the self placed weight of needing to be super mom, super wife, super friend and super Jess added up to a rough first few weeks. But, the biggest thing I have taken away from this first month is the need of giving myself slack and loving my little family the best I am able in the place I am at. Fears like, My son might not be able to father children one day if I keep him in conventional diapers for one more week. I can't use a baby swing, he will feel unloved and might suffer an emotional disconnect years down the road from it. (Geesh, hormones make a rain drop seem like a hurricane.)
Moderation is a mom's best friend. At least-it's become my best friend.
Sam and I have been adjusting well into newborn mommy and daddy-hood I think. Samuel is a dream to me. He is in love with his boy and my heart swells to ten million times ten million times watching him love our baby. Watch out ladies, when you see your man drooling (no pun intended) over your little pumpkin, you're ruined for life.
My recovery has been going super well! I had an itty-bitty tear that hasn't given me any trouble and my soreness majorly subsided after a week or so. My belly has gone down a ton, but I'm still coming to terms that the last two weeks (those over due two weeks I might add) I got what some women call "battle scars." Aka, stretch marks. Yeah, I got 'em. Sigh. I'm super stoked to have a waist again and steadily shrinking plump limbs. But, that belly is a toughy. Haha. I make Sam laugh at night when I tell him all the things that little sag pouch reminds me of. It's all good. Soon, I'll be able to go about my kick butt work out routine and get in shape again. In the mean time I have to stay positive. :)
I've been enjoying getting out certain pieces of clothing that were before baby items. Still have my skinny jeans in the "One Day Over the Rainbow" box. Meaning, it's still a goal of my near future. I feel so good that I was able to stay true to myself and my style during my pregnancy. Rock it Jess. Now I'm in a kind of limbo. If I could keep my Boho style during my beach ball belly days...heck yes I can do it in my middle mushy belly days. So my motto of "Not giving up my style from bump, to baby and beyond" rings like a true challenge. I've already put together some saaaweeet threads and look forward to sharing them with ya.
1 Month old little Forest Káel (sounds just like kale).
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Kael loves his Gnon! (We call it "Mushroom head" but, hey-Gnon does sound fancier.)
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So, there's a mini recap of our new parenthood adventure. We embrace it, we embrace it all- even the poop blow-outs (all over that cute, all organic outfit I put together too). As we "master" one stage of parenthood we know at the second stop we will feel just as inept as at the first. But, we love the heck out of our new little family and we're just going to take it one step at a time. (All in style of course.) ;)
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