I'm Here

posted on: Monday, September 24, 2012

I'm laying here, in bed at 8:30 pm. I probably haven't gone to bed this early, on a consistent basis or at all, since I was a little kid. But, I find I'm worlds less grumpy and much nicer at 3am when I hit the sack during Cedar's first bed time shift, which is usually 8-12am. So, as I lay here, my sweet, amazing husband is giving Kael a bath. Hearing Kael's squeals and giggles is making my heart burst. Nothing is better than daddy time for Forest boy, nothing. Especially since Cedar has joined the family. Gosh, how did this much goodness happen?

There is so much I want to write down, and I will...but I've been adjusting to being a mom and love of two boys, well...3 actually. ;) Motherhood has taken on a whole new meaning to me this chapter. In the moments when I find myself wanting to cry because I just want an hour more of sleep or when I realize that it's 4pm and all I've worn all day is half of a nursing bra and stretched out underwear from my pregnancy, the times when I can count more dirty diapers in my living room than I can number of showers I've taken this week...I look at this tiny new face and instantly am flooded with a reality of love. A love that realizes that Cedar could have just been a lost dream and what would my heart give to have just one moment with him crying in my arms than to have no moments at all with him. I don't know if it's like a kiss on the lips or a smack in the face but, it hits me just the same. I'm clinging to every moment with a passion of being present with my sons. I want to soak up these new born days. I know how they zoom by, good lord they go so fast.

I've got to say, little new born, velvety heads are the best things on the planet. How did I forget how heavenly they are?! My gosh! And their little faces when they dream...sigh, I can't take it. In all this craziness there is so much to wonder at. Dang.

I'm going to sleep now. I'll have lots of stories to share soon. I just wanted to write down some random musings while I had a chance.

Night.

xoxo
Jess

My 2 week old wonder






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17 thoughts:

  1. Kaity B.September 24, 2012 at 6:40 PM

    I've never read anyone who can weave words the way you do. You're an amazing writer, Mama and a just plain awesome lady :)

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  2. UnknownSeptember 24, 2012 at 6:48 PM

    Aw!! How sweet! What an angel :)

    Brooke

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  3. superhappyjohiSeptember 25, 2012 at 12:38 AM

    So Beautiful! such sweetness...

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  4. NoweljaSeptember 25, 2012 at 12:43 AM

    "I want to soak up these new born days." that's exactly how I felt in March this year, when our third son was born. I already experienced the two times before that they would 'zoom by'... it's such a wonderful period. Congratulations btw! You have a beautiful baby, with a wonderful name! I wish you the most beautiful newborn-time, enjoy it!

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  5. Bekah TurnerSeptember 25, 2012 at 5:33 AM

    I hope transitioning is going well. The first few months surprised me with how easy they were, busy but easy.

    Miss you beautiful!

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  6. Little LollySeptember 25, 2012 at 7:04 AM

    He is the most beautifulest thing i have ever seen! Absolutely adorable!! I love love LOVE the name, totally suits him and your little family. Im so happy for you, and cant wait to see this little guy grow!

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  7. BethanySeptember 25, 2012 at 7:12 AM

    Ahh you make me want to have another baby! ;)

    You look beautiful and I am so happy for you!

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  8. UnknownSeptember 25, 2012 at 7:40 AM

    I agree with the baby head thing. The smell of the tops of their little heads is intoxicating. Nice post.

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  9. Lindsay NicoleSeptember 25, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    I LOVE this!! Beautiful writing and beautiful pictures

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  10. UnknownSeptember 25, 2012 at 7:21 PM

    I so love this pic of you three, Jess! Lovely post honey! Lovely momma, lovely boys!

    XOXOXO

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  11. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2012 at 7:13 AM

    Hi! I've never commented before, but I just wanted to tell you that you look absolutely STUNNING in this picture....seriously. That was my first thought when I looked at it and just wanted to let you know :). Enjoy your newborn!
    Amanda

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  12. gillian claireSeptember 26, 2012 at 12:17 PM

    so sweet!

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  13. UnknownSeptember 26, 2012 at 12:42 PM

    My daughter is six months old now, and I just sniff her head constantly. That sounds so bizarre to anyone who doesn't have children, but there's just something about it! Our son adores her, the sight of him holding her hand or her chuckling at him just makes my heart burst. Why can't they stay this small forever?!

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  14. StacetSeptember 26, 2012 at 7:29 PM

    Congrats on your new bundle. We just had our second child on August 12th. I stumbled upon your blog during my pregnancy when you made the announcement of your pregnancy with Cedar. I have enjoyed reading your posts and look forward to hearing your own thoughts and feelings about making the transition from one to two kids. I have my LO sleeping on my chest as I write this. I hope you enjoy the newborn stage, you have a beautiful family!

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  15. RheaSeptember 27, 2012 at 6:05 AM

    Congratulations, he is beautiful! Rest and enjoy those sweet boys of yours.
    loosecannons-rhea.blogspot.com

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  16. RachaelSeptember 28, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    Congratulations on your beautiful boy! I'm 19 weeks and can't wait! Such exciting times.Rx

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  17. AnonymousOctober 1, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    Jess, I originally stumbled upon your story via your engagement video on youtube. I then found your husbands blog, I believe, and came to be a fan of your blog as well. I have it saved in my favorite tabs, and occassionally check in to see how your lifes going. I had no idea you were pregnant/had another baby boy! Your family and life are so incredibly precious and I just loooove reading your posts. You're an amazing wife, mother, and person. <3 much love to you and yours

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