Dang, THIS is a Contraction

Hey all! Remember me telling you a few weeks back all those "contractions" I was having? Geesh, now I KNOW what a contraction is. Starting last night from 11pm- 4am ish I tossed and turned from discomfort and light contractions. Then this morning...BAM BABY! I found myself around 9am pacing mindlessly as my body felt like it was cranking up the biggest peak on the biggest roller coaster ever. Some interesting sounds and sighs were coming out of my mouth. Can you say, OUUUUCH. Yeah.

But, it was and is FREAKING AWESOME! That deep abiding fear that was plaguing me about my body not being able to go into labor on its own was wiped away. Sure, it was and is uncomfortable as heck...BUT, my body is doing it's thing-my baby is doing his thing. So, it's like a bitter/sweet deal of awesomeness!

Sam and I spent the afternoon chillin', cuddling, walking and watching Up (which I sobbed like a baby through. ha! )

It all makes me smile at the thoughts of all those "contractions" I was freaking out about having weeks back which I now know were just intense Braxton hicks. As a first time momma I had nothing to compare or measure these experiences by. Now, I'm starting to. The moment that first real contraction hit me this morning-WHEW...I knew it, not a question in my brain. There is a definable peak that slowly climbs to almost an insane ouch and then there is that moment of decent which is heaven. :)

I'm getting ready to watch the old "Parent Trap" with Beka waiting for my man to get back from video directing. I'm content, excited and trying relax and go with the contractions I'm having.

I keep imagining my baby boy's little face against my cheek and the feeling of his skin under my lips-looking into his precious eyes...ah! It's my encouraging hope. So dear friends and fellow mommies...we shall see what happens with this Boho Belly of mine in the coming hours.

Much love!

41 Week Woodland Mama

"Auntie Rivka" aka my sister in love, Rebekah Fancher of Tirzah Photography took me out side in her back yard to document my ever present, 41 week belly. I honestly didn't feel like it. I had asked her to take a couple shots to remember this stage of my pregnancy. But by the end of the day I totally did NOT feel like doing anything. Being the amazing love that she is, she kicked my butt out of the house and we ventured through the woods! :) We had so much fun.

Click HERE to see her blog on the shoot. :)

I'm all about layering, and finding comfy finds in non maternity places. I got this oh so cozy sleep/out and about top at American Eagle for $3 on the sales rack when I was picking up Sam some jeans. I got it in Medium for a tight fit (above) and large for a loose, off the shoulder look.

I had my weekly appointment with my midwife, Damaris today. Word is, I've progressed in my effacement and dilated-ness! She thinks that I could pop tonight, or later this week. I'm super excited! Samuel was so antsy last night as he looked around the room, then back and my belly. "I want him to come out!" He teasingly proclaimed over dramatically throughout our house. ;) (He makes me laugh so hard, all the time.)

I had THE WORST case of not being able to sleep last night. Not because of discomfort, just the plain fact I couldn't sleep. I found Tetris on my iPhone, bought it and played it for an hour in hopes of falling asleep. Nope. Eventually, with closed eyes I drifted off to sleep around 5 am going through all the baby names we've gathered and trying to picture my babe's little face.

Update: Little Sparrow Song Mathis

For those of you who have been following my tweets you have been hearing the progress of little baby Sparrow Song Mathis. She is the 1 week old TODAY baby of my dear friends Jessie and Mark Mathis. She is an amazing little miracle and just had heart surgery a few days ago for her congenital heart defect condition. To catch up and read her amazing story click HERE on her blog.

She is 1 week old today and is doing very well! She is opening her eyes, is very alert, got to taste her first taste of breast milk and LOVED it her momma tells me! Keep little Sparrow Song in your prayers over the next few days as the doctors monitor how her body adjusts to all the changes from the surgery. I'll be posting updates on my twitter if you want to know how she is doing.

Also, her daddy, Mark, (who is an amazing song writer/musician) is giving away all his music for free in celebration of their little bird! Check it out HERE. and send them some love. :)

Long Time No See..

40 week jess

(last week)

Hey guys, sorry I've been MIA lately. The past week has been good. Mucho uncomfortable, but still good. Today reminds me that tomorrow is my weekly midwife appointment. THAT means it's been another week. Another week that has teased and taunted me.

My family/friends and I were laughing all together the other day- It feels like we've already had the baby. We already experienced that "Oh my gosh! He's coming! He's coming tonight!" feeling a couple of weeks ago. We all are standing around thinking, "but, there's no baby." It's so funny. People will ask me, "So, you having any contractions?" I reply, "Naa, not really." Even if I am, I'm not saying anything til it reaches the point where I can't talk! No more of this start, stop stuff. No-thank-you. ;)

Sam and I have been enjoying our time together. We've gone on a couple of little adventures, had movie nights and laughed so much it's crazy. ;)

Just a couple of days ago we bought our little dude some books that were our favs as little kids. Having those tangible outlets of things that physically connect us with him are so important to me. It feels like the last stretch of a marathon...all the little things I look forward to are like my coach, cheering me on. Being the portable, baby spa for little guy in the last weeks of this stretch can get overwhelming and seem never ending. Will I be pregnant forever? Every once in a while the fear of "What if I can't go into labor naturally?! What if I never go into real labor?!" On and on... Fear is a funny thing, if you don't nip it in the bud it can spread like craziness.

I wake up in the middle of the night and think, good Lord, am I STILL pregnant? I'll turn my head, longing to hear little, short sleepy breaths and see my little dreamer next to me-but then I realize...not yet Jess. Yes, yes, yes I know it all sounds melodramatic! Haha! I feel like super woman, able to take on anything, endure any final stretch. Then at others, I feel like a weak, pitiful little girl whimpering about everything.

I've been reading "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears and I really like it. I'm super picky and am finding I don't feel like I have to use as thick of a Jess filter when I read through his stuff. It's making me excited!

This last stretch of pregohood-ness has stepped over some of my style boundaries a little. I've been able to wear practically all my pre-belly dresses my entire pregnancy, but now it's only a few. My belly has reached a point of war with some of the seam lines of my dresses. Ha! No worries, I've still got an abundance of options. That's the joy of layering and mix/matching! Sam, being the hilarious guy he is, teased- "Yeah, Jess' belly enters a room 4ft. before she does now!" Some of my clothing can attest to that statement.

I'm working on a series of blog posts right now on unconventional maternity fashion. It's pretty sweet. So, be patient with me, I promise...it's coming. :)

Toodle-loo dear ones!

My dear little man,

Obviously you know what you're doing in there. If you need more time, momma understands, she just is antsy to look at your sweet face. Your daddy and I are so excited love.

momma

Some Goodies

I got some goodies for little man today from Gilt and Zulily... I just couldn't resist.

:)

Oh dear me, yes!

Little cotton jersey threads...

My midwife said I'm doing great! Get a load of this! My baby isn't only turned the right way, he's in even a better position than Damaris had even hoped for! :) That makes a happy Momma me! I'm 3 days past my due date as of now and she thinks I'll go about a week over. (Little sigh...)

I'm finishing up cleaning my little cabin, painted my fingernails, gonna hang with my sister in love, then dinner and a movie with my folks tonight. Happy day to you!

Missing Galaxy

My man Samuel, as you might be aware is a musician/songwriter and he is just finishing up his latest project called "Missing Galaxy." It's a project he started working on before we met. It got put on a slight hold with our romance, engagement and wedding. Now that we are having our little guy it is truly perfect timing!

The whole CD is going to be centered around life, family, babies in the womb and fresh out. It's pretty amazing! Here is the latest video blog on it's development... Enjoy!

All Is Calm...All is Bright...

My yoga ball "bessie" and I have become very close friends these past couple of weeks. ;)

(Got me a sweet tube top yoga dress from Marshall's that was on sale! Gotta love jersey knit! it's a preggerz' bestest friend!)

Yes, I have yet another sea of emotional tales to tell you...

After all the contractions last night and the scattered bit this morning I was beginning to think today might be the day. Sam had to go to work early this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I put on Night at the Museum 2 on to make myself laugh. I ended up falling back asleep for a good few hours and woke up some what refreshed.

Sam came home, we had a yummy lunch with my folks and then headed to the mall to walk some stairs. (Hoping that would help things along.)

I was doing great until we got back to our house. Then all of a sudden...it hit me. I'm back at my house, it's past 5 o'clock and nothing is that drastically different than this morning. I WAS having weird crampy feelings down low, but couldn't put all my symptoms into one particular stage of labor. Grrrrrr....

My midwife told me to take a bath and if the cramps didn't stop after that to call her. (I didn't want to take a bath because I was afraid they would stop. The cramps were pretty much my only thing to hold onto that something was actually going on today, so...I wasn't wanting anything to stop. haha!) I had a melt down. I sat on the toilet seat crying and praying that the Lord would just bring him right then. "PLEASE...*sniffle, sob, sniffle*" I whined/prayed pitifully.

Tears... Blubbering on about why, when and never...

I got in the bath, sure enough...things slowed down.

Jordan, the gal who is aprenticing with Damaris (she is stinking a-ma-zing!) came over to my house to examine me and check up on my spirits to see where we might be at on all this. It was SUCH an awesome visit. She assured me, and encouraged me that things were moving along great! :) AAAAAND...He's truly flipped over! No longer posterior! Woooohoooo!!!! EEEEEE!

It can be so frustrating when you are measuring your labor by the book and by other people's stories because every woman's body and baby is uniquely different. What worked for one mom might do absolutely nothing for you. How one lady's labor progressed can be completely different from your own.

FORGET about looking at the cheat sheet which tells you where you are based on how far apart your contractions are! That amount of minutes meaning THIS stage.... and THIS change meaning THIS other stage of labor you're supposed to have reached. I've been having symptoms from all three freaking stages. Not to throw them out entirely by any means...but, I think when you reach the last weeks of your pregnancy and you're not having a cookie cutter, predictable labor experience it can be extremely disheartening to try and place exactly where you are at.

Come to find out, the stuff my body is doing is GREAT! It's easing me into all the stages that will eventually bring my babino into my arms!

I feel so at peace, knowing I'm right where I need to be. With that calm, I have this quiet excitement about having my baby here at my house. It's like this grand production being played out on stage...drama, emotion, love and turmoil at times. Haha. It's fantastic!

I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family who support me and are encouraging the daisies out of me!

I'm so happy.

My brother in law, Brandon who is a spanish translator told me yesterday that saying the phrase to "give birth" in spanish means to "give light," litterally "Dar Luz." Isn't that beautifully awesome! :)

Prego ladies, we have glowing bellies! ;)

All is calm and bright in the Jess and Sam casa today...

12:31 am...

12:31 am...

So, the word out is that I'm in early labor. For real this time? Only time will tell I s'pose.

I've been having contractions all freaking day long! (And for the past week...) But these today, were more noticeable and as the evening progressed (around 9pm after some Five Guys and Fries) they started letting their voices be heard. My body started rocking in a funny way as each one came. Almost like saying, ok, hurry up lets get through this already. Deep breaths kept finding their way out of my throat as well.

After having over 17 very loud contractions in an hour I thought maybe it was worth a call to my midwife and my doula. Sparkles of excitement in both their voices made me smile a little bit. ;)

My mom brought me home from Target and helped me get the last details for our (soon to be?) home birth. Yeah, I've pretty much decided I don't want to leave my house.

Sam and I are about to go on a walk...in the moist luxurious rainy air. (Rain in the evening is like MY FAV!) I'm going to get off my yoga ball now and try to ease some of this babiness going on.

My little sweet heart,

I sure hope I get to kiss your to much of a wonderful thing face today.

momma

8:14 am....

Well, we went on a walk, in the fabulous drizzle. Talked through my contractions and came back home and tried to go to bed.

I had contractions off and on through out the night. I woke up a few times in mega mucho discomfort...but, I was so tired, (thank you Lord I was able to sleep.) I woke up this morning moaning in my sleep, a contraction had woken me up and now I can't sleep. I'm going to do some walking, light snacking and resting. Perhaps little man wants to wait til the sun starts shining. I'm going to take advantage of this last remaining time I have him all to myself and have a momma/son talk. If anything just to sych my heart up.

One thing is for sure, all this activity is a new thing. Today? Please? Today is my actual guess-amation of a due date based on my cycle. August 15th...what goodies to you hold for me today? Hopefully more than just a passing breeze of excitement.

Come out sweet thing, so we can dance together and so daddy and I can show all the cool things out here. You will love all the sounds and pretty things much better from out here than in there.

love babes,

momma

To the Day...

Wearing Isabella Oliver dress...it's been one of my favs and one of the very few of my actual maternity articles. Makes me feel a little more on the hot scale... ;)

Well, babies come inevitably and eventually...right.

Yesterday was full of more contractions and more hormonal/emotional tears. ;) I'm trying to remind myself and stay super positive that obviously my body needs these breaks and soon it will all sync up and my baby and I will be cheek to cheek and gaze in each others eyes.

I'm going to eat a yummy salad with Sam then run some errands with my mom to try and get my mind off of "watching for the pot boil." Later we're going to do some organizing, preparing my little abode for the birth.

The biggest thing I think, for a prego gal right now in the state I am in is to remove any and all pressure from my overly active brain. Since my emotions are so rammed up, I am tempted to feel unnecessary pressure to have the baby, NOW! People are waiting and watching, family members and excited and anxious for the little guys' arrival. NONE, I assure you as anxious as myself. Can I get a witness ladies?

I had heard that when you get to the last couple weeks of pregnancy that feelings such as I'm having come into play. I just didn't really realize how strongly. Haha.

So, here's to enjoying the day...if baby boy comes great if he doesn't he will eventually.

Chill out Jess, it's almost here.

Video Blog From Jess: Week 40

Video Blog Musings From A Very Pregnant Girl...

Cherries at 4am

Sam and I went over to Brandon and Beka's last night (Sam's sister and her husband) for a meal of their amazing chicken curry with rice and naan bread! Our friend Yoosung who is a cellist was passing through last night on his way to DC so we all had a fabulous little get together!

My contractions were pretty steady and about 4-6 min apart. No biggie. I was hoping for some action but, getting my hopes set too high. As the evening waned on, my contractions kinda slowed and my heart got discouraged. This is going on day 2 of strong contractions during the day and next to none while I sleep. Sheesh.

I sat in my soon to be nursing rocking chair in our little living room and cried. More of those hormones flying around. It just hit me all at once. I felt discouraged that things weren't progressing . Even though in reality they are. My body may need to do a load of contractions one day and rest the next. My job is to just go with the flow...but sometimes it seems like my patience gets drained.

I went to bed, Samuel conked out and I was wide awake. I bought a new contraction counter on my iPhone and tried to sleep. I woke up around 4 am and pouted in the kitchen as I pigged out on cherries. There I stood in my jammies, scarfing down cherries mindlessly , "I may not even be in labor." I moaned to myself. Haha. So not true, but the doubt felt real as anything. All of a sudden thoughts of this pattern going on for days and weeks more overwhelmed me!

It's so funny how dramatic I realize I am the day after an episode like that. But, in the moment I feel like I'm in a whole of either elation or despair. :)

I'm headed off to The Milky Way to get some more prefolds that came in and some other goodies. I'm doing really good now...strong contractions but further apart. I'm going to take advantage of this break and enjoy my little, big bellied self.

Toodles dear friends.

The Hormone Extravaganza

So, remember I mentioned in one of my recent posts about relaxing and pacing myself...?

Well, it seems to be working. My body, my prego mental and emotional state, as far as getting things going for d-day are completely different. :) Almost immediately after making that shift, my body started responding! Yay for giving myself permission to be a justifiable bum! ;) (Just kidding...sort of.)

Yesterday I woke up with a urge to go to a local, higher end mall to walk, talk and window shop with my mom. We set it as a date and headed off to my weekly midwife appointment around noon.

Damaris, my midwife was excited when she examined me and listened to my updated, end of week baby body report. She was getting excited by what I was telling her, which made me excited! She said our little guy is locked and loaded (dropped into my pelvis all the way) and that although she was going to go ahead and schedule another visit for next week she thought it would be a mommy/baby at home visit. (Post-natal!) Eeee!

I had been having contractions that were about 1 min and 15 sec long and anywhere from 5-8 min apart. :)

My mom and I ended up going to the mall with our men and had a great time. Sam and my Dad spent some good guy/Mac time in the Apple store looking at iPads etc... :) My contractions, which where steady enough, started getting stronger and closer together. For over 4 hours they stayed that way and we called our Doula. We got a game plan and confirmed that I was in the early stages of labor/active labor. Ha! Oh dear me... Talk about a flood of freaking emotional hormones. My goodness!

A children's book I got for little man that I adore right now!

I had a moment where I couldn't decide if I wanted to leave the mall or keep walking to help things along. Oh dear, what about my house! (I kept thinking...) I needed to wash sheets and get that darn tub of winter boots out of my bed room. Wait a second, I can't get into the adrenalin mode, I have to stay in a happy place. Eek!

At one point we were about to get in the car and I burst into tears saying, "I don't want to go to the health food store, I think I want to walk around some more...but, I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know what I want." My mom just hugged me, with a compassionate and half amused look on her face as she hugged me.

Haha! It was all hitting me like a flood. All the hormones surging as the reality that I could actually be in labor slammed into my brain.

We finished one more lap of the mall before heading to the health food store where we got some goodies. After that we all headed to my house. I was excited! Trying to stay chilled and in the thought of "Well, hey if this is it... cool. If it's a little flutter and no serious business goes down tonight, that's cool too. "

We washed sheets, put the cover on our mattress. Sam blew up the birthing pool and I scarfed down 4 avocados, chips and salsa.

SAAAAAAWEEEEEEEEEET!!!! Look at this amazing birthing tub people! We set it up in ourboho boy's room. How cool would that be to give birth to him in his own room!? Yeah, I'm kinda leaning toward the staying at my casa route. We'll see!

I got a good night's sleep and have been having pretty steady contractions all day...they are kinda getting a little stronger. I'm just taking them in strides.

For me, a girl of high pain tolerance, my Doula and midwife have come to a solution to measure the intensity of my contractions. I can't really go by how they hurt, but by how distracting they are to me. If I can't maintain a train of thought about something through one...and they keep getting closer, yeah, that's worthy of a text or two to my birthing mommas. :)

The hormone extravaganza is something that is becoming more intense to me. You have to let them come up, surface and then just wash away, my doula told me this afternoon. If I need to cry...let it out. If I need to laugh...do it til' your belly hurts! ;) Responding to those emotional feelings that way, releases that Love Hormone Oxytocin. But if you stuff them, you get adrenalin... and you don't want that til you have to push.

So, little man of mine...

I'm going to work with you however you need me to love. We are going to do this and it's going to be great. Listen to momma sing to you and know that soon, you're going to like it way better in my arms, more than you do in my tummy. Daddy and I are waiting...

love babes,

momma

Cloth Booty and the Milky Way

I got my baby's booty goodies!

Friday I went to an amazing store here in Charlotte called, "The Milky Way." It's a baby boutique/breast feeding/cloth diaper/baby wearing store of mommy amazingness!

My friend and fellow mom, Stephanie told me to go check it out. They have a wealth of products and TONS of information and advice for cloth diapering and breast feeding! They even offer cloth diapering classes! :) One of the gals there talked to me for over and hour helping me get a set up of cloth diapers. A couple of girl friends of mine who use cloth had given me some advice about getting started. But, when it comes to actually choosing and buying from the array of options, you can kinda feel overwhelmed (at least I did). So, it really helped me getting to glean information and advice from her.

I would highly recommend if that you are in the Charlotte, NC area, go and check out "The Milky Way" you will love it! Plus, when you are looking online at cloth diaper stuff it feels more overwhelming because you can't touch and feel stuff-there, you can put them together, try them out and see what you like at the start without purchasing anything. Makes it more fun.

Cloth diaper station at the Milky Way tons of brands and choices!

When you think "cloth diapers" you instantly get a picture of safety pins and squares of cotton wrapped and folded around a baby's butt, Mom is in the background washing out all the poop that's stuck to the fibers. Um...why are you thinking about doing that? Nasty.

I mean, why do that when you can just put a Huggie on and toss the old one? Cloth diapers have come a long way I have come to find out. Gone are the days where there is only one way to go about it. We have hybrid options now. :) Some seriously cool stuff. There isn't really one specific reason why I'm going to give cloth a shot, although there are multiple benefits you can find online like, saving you money, better health benefits for my little guys bum etc... I was freaked out by the thought of using cloth early on in my pregnancy. But, after looking into it and having friends who have done it, it has given me a little more confidence.

In the cloth world you have choices of:

basic prefolds

entire onsie cloth diapers

cloth inserts that go into umpteen different choice of covers that are for multiple uses

disposable inserts

hemp cloth

cotton

bamboo

waterproof covers

snap covers

velcro covers....

um...too many choices.

I got a little bit of everything. Including, a good stock of your basic organic prefolds that I can use as basic diapers, inserts or even burp cloths. (Can't go wrong on that route.)

3 different types of covers. (2 snap size covers one by "Thirsties" another "one-size" by "Flip" and two velcro-1 by bumgenius another by thirsties.)

Covers can go over your basic prefolds or you can use the cloth inserts.

I like Thirsties brand because they have this extra lip for a more secure, non-leaking fit.

The Flip, one size snap diaper cover

The Thirsties 'snap' sizing cover (I really liked the trees)

Thirsties Velcro fit cover. (I think I'll like these better for a more fast and custom fit.)

Here is an example of the double sided inserts I got. Half Hemp, half cotton. (Hemp is more absorbent but, the cotton blend makes it more soft.) When it comes time to change, put the insert in a wet bag or washer then stick another insert in. Quick and easy.

I got some 'one use' cloth diapers, where there are no inserts. You just use the entire diaper one time. I got about 4 of these types from a couple of different companies.

I got 2 of these Kissaluvs. They are great for newborns because they have a snap down for the umbilical cord. They are SO soft! (Some people say they aren't quite as absorbent but is personal preference I'm told.)

Thirsties one use, then wash diaper. You don't need a cover or insert for these.

I'm accumulating apx. 24 prefolds (the basic, organic cotton squares of fabric that you fold and use a a diaper in and of itself, or as an insert into a cover.) To see how to use as an insert watch this vid. HERE.

I got the Bummis set up which I'm IN LOVE with!

6 inserts (will get more depending on how I like them)

4 one in all diapers

4 covers

With the variety I purchased, I'm not stuck to one method and I can find my cloth groove in the mix of it all.

Perhaps I'll like one type of method for the day time and another for the night time.

Also this way I can grow into cloth without a huge overhaul commitment to one type and expand my stock where I see fit.

I'm SO excited. I also have a beginning stock of natural Huggies and Pampers just in case myself, a relative or Sam isn't up for the unknown territory of cloth at certain points/if we are traveling... We shall see. I'm super stoked and can't wait to diaper up my baby's bum. :) I don't think I've ever looked forward to seeing a baby's butt more than I have this week! haha!

Yay for little cloth booties!

Update and Soon Coming Post...

As I'm writing this update, the sky just stopped the down pour that was dancing through the sunshine. (We took a little walk in the big, warm rain drops and kissed and hugged.) Sam is finishing up a song for our little guy and it's making me tear up and realize that any day now is going to be the day where I'll get to hold our little adventurer for real. A little bundle of mystery right in our arms.

Anywhoo...

I'm working on a post on the cloth diapers I got on Friday but haven't been able to finish it as fast as I thought. Hopefully by tomorrow mid morning I'll have it all polished and done.

I told Sam this morning in bed that pregnancy is starting (or way long past) loosing its shine and radiant sparkle to me. I'm ready to have my baby.

I met with my doula yesterday and she really helped me realize that the past week or so I've been running of of adrenaline instead of endorphins. (Will power instead of those warm and fuzzies that help you in labor.) I haven't totally been pacing myself and have kept going well after my nesting energy dwindled away. I don't know about any other soon to be moms or already moms out there but one of my biggest weaknesses in my personal life is resting and slowing my pace to a speed where I'm not thinking of making sure everybody is doing OK-in turn neglecting my own personal sanity/wearing myself out. Ha!

If I'm tired I have to tell myself it's OK to lay down and take a nap or just curl up with a blanket and watch an episode of some frivolous show to chill.

Birth she told me is 90% mental an emotional. You can kinda get out of the whole birthing zone by worrying about everything being in order, or not perfect. Is so and so OK? How am I going to handle 'this' situation etc.... I kinda feel like a week or so ago I was having steady contractions then all of a sudden I went into worry/fix it mode. Which is partially a mommy instinct, but it seem to stop all the baby progress. Who knows. All I DO know is reminding myself and giving myself permission to "shut things out" mentally from the worry spot in my brain and relax-I started having those contractions again. :)

My job is to create an environment within myself where my baby feels ready to come out. He'll come out when he feels ready-I can help him by resting and being jacked up on all those warm and fuzzies called endorphins. The feel good, love hormones that are God's freaking amazing gift to women with the bump and in labor.

So, Jess...if you need to have a day where you do nothing but lay on the couch and read or sleep or watch 10 episodes of Little House on the Prairie-it's OK. It's fantastic actually. Relax and have your baby already. ;)

Holding Dash, my friend Lauren's 5 week baby boy. So soon...

Ok little man of mine,

Momma is ready to hold you and love you like crazy. Whenever you feel like coming, you and me-we'll work together and get you out of that warm little spa you are in. It's probably getting a little tight in there so listen to momma and daddy singing to you and know that we love you so much and really wanting to hold you. I can't wait to see you babes.

love darlin',

momma

The Ball...

Remember how I mentioned that little dude is laying on my back bone instead of having his little bum on my belly button? Well, this is something that helps him flip around and is a great way to loosen the hip and pelvis. :) Sam, documented me at the Y. :)

We just got the extra large yoga ball seeing my legs are so long I had to give my other NORMAL sized ball to my sister in law...geesh. Ha!

Soon, Jess...Soon.

So last night Sam and I made a spontaneous run to Target to get tapes for his high tech-videographer's camera. (We are going to be making our own mini documentary of our labor/birth experience.) I browsed around looking at everything wonderful and fabulous...organizational stuff, baby stuff and decor stuff. Eventually I found myself in the clothing section. I found my eyes gravitating to the cute little snug jersey tees. They looked SO wonderfully amazing! I started to picture myself in one of them with my pre-pregnant body and started lifting them off the rack longingly one by one and holding them up. Sigh. Soon Jess, soon...

I love my pregnant figure. Heck yes I do. But, there is a very big (no pun intended) and healthy difference in loving your present pregoness and being settled into the fact that this is just how it is going to be from now on and not seeing any change in the future. Um...no. Soon, I'm going to have my little son in my arms, drinking from my milky way and I'm going to kick my rear back into shape. Sure, I'm not going to have unrealistic expectations on myself but, I'm still going to make and set some goals that's for sure.

My sweet man told me a few weeks back in a conversation he had entered into with me about baby weight etc...he said, "You know baby, I can't really remember what you looked like before you got pregnant." WHAT?!!!?? I thought to myself, that's freaking terrible!!! Now remember, this is coming from a man who tells me how gorgeous, hot and sexy I am countless times a day. He meant it in a totally sweet way. Um, but truly we needed some serious reminders here.

"Are you SERIOUS?!" I asked. I started going through pics on my facebook, iphone and where ever I could find pics of myself a couple of months before I got preggerz and the first couple months of my pregnancy. "THIS, babe, is what your wife looked like before incubation started."

I got some wide eyed, 'Ooo baby' kinda looks after that as he looked through pics and little video clips we had made together months back. I felt satisfied. ;)

So, seeing my time of being a personal feeding/growing station and spa for my baby is drawing to an end, my friends-I've gotten the not so old pictures out in a file on my desktop and say to myself-Soon, Jess...soon. :)

For your amusement...

Reading a love note Sam sent to me as I was getting ready for our wedding.

Glory! I even forgot what I looked like! HA!

Sam and I the day after our wedding right before we headed off to our honeymoon.

I'm looking forward to being able to do crunches again, climb trees and run full speed to my mail box when I'm excited about a package coming! As much as I love "the waddle" I'm ready to trade it for speed walking or a nice light jog.

At Home?

Yesterday I had my weekly appointment with my midwife, the all amazing Damaris! She said everything looks good but he hasn't fully dropped yet so she thinks I've another week. Which, I was happy and a little full of sighs to hear at the same time. Truly, I can use the time to prepare and get my house even more ready, do some frivolous things I want to do before he comes, but I also want to pop him out so I can hold him and cease to be pregnant.

He's still a little posterior, which is why my back has been aching a little more than usual. Lot's of hands and knees for me...no reclining Jess.

As many of you know Sam and I have been planning on having our little boho boy up at the birthing center which is a hop, skip and a jump from our house. But, now that the time is basically now to actually have the baby I'm kinda feeling mixed about it. I kinda really want to have him here at my house where it's cozy and normal feeling. Where I know where everything is and I don't have to get in a car and lug my huge self up there and then lug my baby and my deflated self back home. It's just something we are tossing around. I talked to Damaris about it and she told me either way was wonderful and I could do whatever I felt like I wanted and needed to do. The only difference between me having the little dude at the birthing center and here at my house is the location and space...no other difference.

If we did it at home my midwife, her assistant and my doula would all be here just like at the BC. So, I'm weighing out what things are more important to me right now and aid my comfort level.

At first, when I first got prego I didn't think at all I'd want to have my first baby at home because I was a little freaked out at the thought of labor. To me, at the time...I found comfort in being away from my house, I felt more secure at the thought of being on the midwife turf instead of my turf which seemed to symbolize I had not a clue what I was doing. Well, not now. I'm actually stoked for labor...I'm looking forward to it and the thought of leaving my house isn't looking all that appealing to me. We'll see. Who knows. :) I like having options and having the freedom to ask, "What if I want to do..." Put's a part of my brain at ease investigating and searching out what I really want instead of boxing my self in. I might totally go ahead with the birthing center route, but like I said, if a little part of me doesn't I like to have options. :)

Damaris measuring my belly.

My mom and I got lunch after my appointment and I cheated and had a very small cup of pistachio/almond homemade icecream... It was fabulous.

After the BC appointment I worked on little dude's room and got some of the trees up on the wall! It looks AMAZING! Beka is going to take some pics for me so I can do an amazing blog about his amazing little room. :) There's really not THAT much left to do and I'm getting really excited! Hopefully I'll finish putting them all up today and we can move his crib back and bring in the nursing chair!!!!

Not much longer baby! My heart is starting to ache for our little man and my mommy hormones are swinging into gear. I tear up all the time over the silliest emotional thing and I'm constantly day dreaming about my little trio of a family-the boho momma and her boys. :) Happy sigh...

Bellies, Fingers and Toes

Our lovely bellies and toes...

Today I had my weekly chiropractor appointment and then a fabulous pedicure time with my dear friend and fellow preggerz, Jessie Mathis, who herself is due in a couple of weeks with her second, a baby girl! Check out her blog here. :) We felt rather pampered as we got the deluxe toe treatment, warmed wax and all! Even our beautiful fingers got treated to some love. It was SO refreshing! She is such an amazing person, one of the most lovely hearts you'll ever find! (And she's a stinkin' hot momma!) ;)

I came home and had a huge burst of energy. I have read about and heard friends talk about the "nesting" thing that happens when you get close to having your baby. I've experienced little spurts of it sure but not to the degree of some of the stories I was hearing. I have been wondering if something was wrong with me...why haven't I done THAT yet? Well, whether or not nesting is a prerequisite for the telling of soon to be coming labor I definitely brought some twigs to the nest today. I got home and cleaned my house, scrubbed my kitchen floor-did some wash and was looking for something to organize. Yep, sure did. So, I guess I'm in more of the 'bird' phase than I realized. :)

I've been meaning to go to the pool and exercise this week and haven't gotten around to it so, this evening I went swimming over at my parents' pool and did some laps with my mom. Lots of breast strokes to help little man lay the right way and help mommy (me) have the feeling of staying active. ;)

I have to tell you one more thing before I turn off the light switch...we got our little dude THE coolest thing! It's called the "Twilight Turtle Nightlight" and it projects the constellations onto the ceiling, acting as a nightlight through the turtle's shell. We "tested" it last night. (Truth is, we were more excited about it for us I think! HA!) We fell asleep, looking at amber colored stars feeling like little kids.

Twilight Turtle Nightlight

Well, it's been a pregnant day and I'm calling it tomorrow and going to bed. Hopefully I'll get some decent sleep. See you when the birdies sing. :)

Yes, I'm Huge

Last night and this morning I've had cramping that reminds me of period cramps. I must have been having them in my sleep because I was dreaming that I was having them and then in my dream "BAM!" my water broke and labor began. But, I woke up and nothing was out of the usual. My hips were a little achy, my stomach was growling and I had the most intense urge to go pee.

At 38/39ish weeks:

I'm huge

I waddle like a duck

I feel like a water cow on some days and a dreamy, prego goddess on others

Still crave french fries all the time

constantly eat red plums

keep my house like an igloo (sorry Sam...)

wonder what my toes look like (I probably am in dire need of a manicure.)

dreams of sleeping on my tummy again

has been finding myself looking though pics of pre-prego days...(soon and very soon)

Oh dear... My Doula and mid-wife think I'll go into labor this week which puts a little kick to my rear to get things done! Ask me and I'll tell ya I have really no clue. I kinda think later this week but, I don't know. My contractions have been more frequent but I have a very high pain tolerance so I don't know exactly what's going on. Haha!

I moved all our sound recording equipment and loads of guitars, woodwinds and other music dillies into my closet out of little man's. The last bits of organizing are going down today in the Boho Cabin of Jess and Sam.

I was talking to my little dude this morning and realized it's just days away until I can look into his little eyes and sing him silly songs and whisper that I love him.

Last night my parents came along to meet all our friends who live in our neighborhood! We had a little fiesta at Brandon and Beka's house (my sister in law and brother in law). We played rounds of mafia and catch phrase until we were laughing and peeing in our pants! It's was amazing!

my dad and I out getting baby stuff...

I'll be posting a bunch of pics today of the baby room and the adventures of last week.

I better get back to work while I have the energy!