Trausch Family Part 1

Last Sunday, I spent the morning at my sweet friend, Beth's house and took some pictures of her beautiful family, 3 year old daughter Hanelia and precious new baby girl, Eva. (I'm in love with her, she is like a little china doll! Swoon.) We had so much fun and my heart enjoyed every second! I took a ton of images, way too many to post, but these are some of my favorites. Beth is seriously so gorgeous and she makes the most beautiful little girls!  Love you Beth! Thanks for letting me play and click away!  

I Like Adoption

A friend of mine posted this video and I haven't been able to stop watching it. This family's love inspires my heart in so many ways. Take a moment and watch. 

xoxo Jess

Hello 2013

Hello 2013. Something in my deepest heart is pretty excited about you. 2012 was a year of growing up, learning what it really means to cherish and to trust. I learned to hope again, to find beauty  and I truly feel like I settled into motherhood. My soul rooted itself in friendships, and found a sweet security, safety and rest in my growing little tribe of boys.  I can't even begin to describe the heaven we find in  our  kids. I've had a growing sense of awe at this precious quiet of love in my life, I'm overwhelmed by it. 2012 was harshest of bitter and the purest of sweet. I've never felt as much pain, and I've never experienced as much joy as I did these past twelve months. There are so many stories that were never written, and moments that could never be captured. It was a heck of a year.

Cheers to simplicity, and to love. Here's to newness, to expectancy of good and the joy of all the days that are waiting to make us know the sweetness of life. This is going to be a precious and fabulous year.

Stocking Stuffers: Make A "Beerd"

These easy-to-make "koozies" are the perfect, fun gift for a guy. Last month, I made several for party favors at Sam's lumberjack birthday party and sold out of them at a vintage market that I recently participated in! All of the guys LOVED them! My friend Jessie thought up the name "Beerds" haha. It's a beerd for your beer. If you don't have a sewing machine and aren't really the crafty type, who says you can't use a stapler or you can hand stitch the seam. These were such a hit so, I wanted to share the fun! 

Merry Christmas! 

Super easy! Place your pattern on the fold of the faux fur, cut, sew and turn inside out! That's it! 

Thanksgiving Was Perfect

Thanksgiving was perfect.  It was wonderful, simple and full of quality time with my family in Texas. My parents got to really fall in love with Cedar and enjoy all of Kael's new passions and his always exploding personality. His obsession with animals and impersonations of them is the latest. haha. The slow, stealthy "tiger walk" with growls and his pretending to sleep and snore are my favs. 

While at my folks house, my dad was the baby whisperer, hands down. Any time Cedar seemed discontent, my dad would pick him up and in 2 minutes or less, this is what I would see. I swear, almost all of the pictures I took of my dad over the whole week that we were there, looked like this: my dad, holding his littlest boy, all snuggled sleepily on his shoulder...

I'm so thankful for my boys who make up our little, growing tribe of sweet and crazy. 

Coconut Oil

I love coconut oil!  I use it for lip balm, lotion, cooking and several other things! It's pretty much amazing. It's anti-inflamatory, anti-microbial, anti-viral and helps you to absorb more nutrients from your food. You can use it for moisturizer and even deodorant.   Kael thinks it's pretty awesome, too.  He wanted to put some on his lips yesterday, so I let him. Then, I just watched as he continued to rub it all in his hair and eat finger scoops of it. He must have been listening to me earlier when I was telling Sam how good it is for curly hair...haha.  I figured the mess would be minimal and he was having fun experimenting with the texture. Needless to say,  Kael smells like a tropical beach boy. =)

Have you ever used coconut oil? Here is an amazing link that tells you over 100 different uses for it! CLICK HERE  Do you have a favorite recipe or usage for it? I'd love to hear! 

Kael Tales

My sweet pajama boy. Some days you just stay in your jammies all day, right?

Last week, I had one of the sweetest highlights that my momma heart has had in this chapter of toddler-dom. I took Kael to school, last Tuesday.  There, in the parkinglot that morning, were some tears that we were trying to work through.One of my dear friends, Kim pulled up behind me and was getting her little boy, Oliver out of the car. (Kael gets to go to school with 3 of his best little friends and it's precious.) Kael's chubby cheeks were still wet and he had a scowl on his face, but the moment he saw Oliver, his face lit up and he ran over to his friend with his arms open. They hugged each other and started giggling without our coaxing.  I yelled at Kim to look, before the moment was gone. It was the cutest thing. Then, they tromped into class together. Seriously, I'm living a childhood/teenage dream, taking my kid to preschool with his friends, who's moms are some of my best friends. My heart bursts every time.

Kael, you're dang cute buddy and you love life with all your heart.

Heart Thoughts on Motherhood

It's hitting me. The reality that this new, small soul is mine. Around 5 am, as Cedar finished up his early morning and very sleepy feeding, I couldn't put him down. My body longed for those extra 2 hours of sleep that I knew it would get if I laid him back in his co-sleeper. But, my eyes couldn't leave his face and my arms wouldn't let go. I sat there for almost an hour, staring at him and his dreaming smiles. I put my face to his cheek, as his tiny breaths kissed my cheek thinking, "is this love even for real?"

Now, when I nurse Cedar, he'll stop for a moment, look at me and smile. I can't help but soak up these moments. Every morning, without fail, his expressions are full of wonder. It's as if he realizes how long he has been asleep and he can't wait to have open eyes again, discovering exciting things like the ceiling fan and his brother zooming toys in front of his face. haha. He wants to stand up constantly, bobbing his head around trying to look ever which way. Ah! I've probably kissed him over a thousand times since he's been born, I can't help it. I've stood in front of my old, gold mirror, countless times as I've held him,  just so I could stare at his dreamy face, all smooshed up against my chest. These are days that I've been dreaming of for years. Sometimes, I have to stand back and acknowledge the moment before is passes by.

Samuel said this to me after we got engaged, "Let's promise each other that no matter what, we won't lose the wonder that we have for each other." That has been a pillar in my heart and it's taken weight into my momma heart as well. In the moments, when one child is whining and the other crying, where a shower is my only form of alone time and a greek yogurt in a nursing bra and yoga pants is my only real meal of the day...not to lose the wonder of my boys and wonder of being their safe place.

In weeks like this, when I've had bright days and cloudy ones, my heart is gripped with this truth, motherhood is a sacred and beautiful gift. It's a messy one, a painful one, it's tiring and beyond beautiful...it breaks your heart and then heals it. It has made me more alive to love and the beauty of vulnerability. I'm saying that in the "infant" stages, if you will, of my journey as a momma, knowing that I've barely skimmed the surface of what being a mom truly means. There are millions of moments that my heart has yet to experience, laughs it hasn't seen, tears it hasn't cried and wisdom it's waiting to learn.

I love being a momma.

Fall, Let's Be Friends

I'm sitting here on my back porch, while both of my kids are napping. Did I just say that? Somebody wake me up.

It's quiet and there are leaves all over the place. I swept the deck 2 days ago, but you'd never know it. My neighbor is practicing her violin with the windows open. I kinda feel like I'm in a scene from a movie and she is providing the background music for my thoughts. ha. Since Cedar has started sleeping through the night for almost 2 weeks now, I've had room in my brain and heart to think outside of feedings, diapers and entertaining my sweet 2 year old. It feels good. I have moments like I'm having now, on my porch swing, where I can just be and think.  This time last year, I was on this deck a lot, reading and smiling, playing with Kael and soaking up the tiny wonders of a Carolina back yard in Fall time. I also spent hours crying out here. I was reading that book, "One Thousand Gifts" and having my world rocked by beauty and simple love. I had no idea that I was about to experience the most severe form of heart break  that I had ever known ; then a bit later, the sweetest of gifts. It's surreal to sit here in the same spot, looking at the same trees, thinking thoughts on the other side of last year. Life is too short to be spent asking why all the time. Sometimes, that question can consume me to the point of stealing the goodness that is still embracing me.

(I wish I could interject the heavenly music that is filling my street right now. Seriously, the perks of living next door to a concert violinist who loves to practice with her windows open.)

Here I am, a year older and I hope, wiser. Wiser in love and a son richer.

A part of me has been worried about these coming weeks. In the back of my mind, I have been a bit worried that I might sink back into a hole of sadness, where everything is run through the filter of cynicalness. I've been surprised. I've leaned more into hope than I thought I could. I sat here with Cedar before he fell asleep and had a moment that I wish I could freeze forever. A moment where I realized a miracle has happened in my heart. A sweet, new life with a personality that I'm just discovering is in my arms. Did I see this beautiful moment in my future a year ago? No. But it was just the same. I'm giving myself grace and not holding myself to a standard of emotional perfection these next couple of months. But, as I walk into this fall and holiday season, I'm not afraid. I'm peaceful and expectant.

Hey crunchy leaves and pumpkin lattes, cold brisk air and fire pit get togethers, I'm not scared of you or what you brought me last year. Let's make new, happy memories with my 3 handsome boys this year shall we?

He makes all things beautiful in His time.