9 Weeks

Káel is 9 weeks already. The past couple of weeks have been a turning point in some ways and a merry-go-around of beginnings, where I feel like I'm taking steps backwards, in others. Finding myself in a place of uncertain sleep, nursing ups and downs, motivation one day and complete lack there of the next, is an interesting place to be. But even though it can seem like a roller coaster at times, when I look at my little guy and see his little personality starting to shine through his eyes so brightly, and when he smiles the biggest smile back at me in the mirror, it brings me to happy tears.

Káel now sleeps a good 7 hours a night, which makes me feel like a happy human again. =) His favorite toys are, the giraffe hanging from his bouncer, his felted rattle from Asher Jasper and his Fisher Price vintage piano. Oh! And, he LOVES to play with his Luna Lullaby blankets, too. He gets SO excited when you toss one over his face, grab his hands through the material and say "Warm Hands!" He giggles so much!

Breast feeding is going OK. We decided to supplement with organic formula at night and a little through the day, on top of pumping and boob feeding. He has no problem at all going from bottle to boob, thank God. Some weeks back I was crying everyday almost, because I wasn't able to get up to speed with his hunger needs. I was so discouraged. I wasn't getting sleep or mental rest, which was making me half insane at times. I tried drinking water like a camel, eating enough oats to be Quaker Oats mascot and taking milk building supplements. But, it just never seemed to satisfy him.

I have a two month old baby boy, the size of a 5 or 6 month old. He eats ALL THE TIME and eats SO much! Supplementing with the formula has been a big help, as we work to build my milk supply up. But, I struggled so intensely when we first started to do that. You see, I had been a prego that said I would never do it. I felt like I was less of a mommy. But the truth is, it's good for him. He still gets my milk, as much as I can give him and he is one of the most loved babies on the planet! I have learned the hard way that, self placed expectations can so set you up for a mental "crash and burn" if you're not careful. He's recently been going through a growth spurt where he will scarf down 6 ounces easily. We worked up to that amount after realizing he wasn't satisfied with just 4 or even 5 ounces. "They" tell you about 4 ounces is about right. But that doesn't work for him anymore. Feed on demand and feed until he is happy is what I'm doing and I have a happy baby again.

Cloth diapering is more of an experiment right now. I'll do it during the day for a few days trying out the different types. Flips are kinda my favorites right now with our lifestyle. They are super easy for us and don't seem to leak or fit weird. Sam and I have decided if we can really get a good system set in place that we're going to do it. During our breastfeeding crisis I was like, I can't handle anything else. But, now that it's mellowing out-I'm starting to get more excited about my baby's hybrid-cloth booty.

Samuel and I are so in love with this little boy of ours. Gosh, I love him! I can't stop kissing his little cheeks.

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Káel's wearing Flip cloth diapers.